The 5 Most Important Lessons I Have Learned By Being A Stepmom
March 21, 2018 written by: Ashlee Martin
Before becoming a step mom I was a single mom to a little girl. I was essentially a good mom, a good friend, a good daughter/granddaughter/niece and so forth. I helped others when I could, but there wasn’t many times when I was financially capable too. The point is, as far as I was concerned I was a pretty decent human being.
Being the only parent, I had to be less selfish than I had before having a child and learn to let my life go the back burner for my child. I had to work hard and be careful with my money to have enough to provide for my daughter and for myself, alone. But at the end of the day I knew my daughter would love me, I was the only one she had, after-all.
I learned many things from being a single mom but today I am going to tell you the 5 most important lessons I have learned by being a stepmom!
The 5 Most Important Lessons I Have Learned By Being a Stepmom:
- When it was only me and my daughter, I expected her love to be unconditional as mine was for her. Being a stepmom the love for (and from) your stepchild NEVER starts out as unconditional. It has to be earned and it takes time to develop, a lot of time! I am also big enough to admit that this should have been my view for my bio child’s love as well, that way I would never (intentionally or accidentally) take her love for granted.
- Being a step mom has made me learn patience in a way I never thought was possible! I thought I had plenty of patience, my mom taught me patience, Sunday school taught me patience, my teachers and employers, but I didn’t realize how UN-patient I was until dealing with the “EX” situation. Patience really is a virtue, and if you don’t have any and you’re going into a Step family relationship, FIND SOME.
- I never saw myself as a really jealous person. I didn’t really like attention on me, so being the quiet one that’s always to the side never really bothered me. However, being a stepmom taught me otherwise. I couldn’t get 5 secs alone or focused on me at all by my new husband, a side of me came out that I never knew existed! I guess it was the fact of being overwhelmed and stressed out, or that his attention was taken by fake tantrums and nonsense, either way green is NOT my color!! I learned that quick and reevaluated my own attitude.
- I mentioned earlier how I worked hard as a single mom and budgeted carefully to provide. When I became a stepmom, I had to learn to budget not only for MORE people, but also how to handle changing income and expenses. Since we only had my stepson on my spouse’s weekends, and then holidays and school breaks were split, I had to learn to adapt my mind and budget and still stay organized so that our expenses always got paid.
- I learned a lot from being a stepmom but I believe the biggest and most important thing I have learned is a combination of feelings that make me a better and stronger woman and human being than I ever was before. Those being: how to appreciate, be humble, forgive, love HARD always, and have no regrets!
Being a Stepmom is in NO way an easy role! It’ not for the faint of heart or the weak, being a stepmom truly does take a good woman. A selfless woman, an appreciative and grateful woman, a humble woman. But sometimes, it takes actually becoming a stepmom to be these things, which is okay too!
What have YOU learned since being a stepmom? Anything you still need work on? I would LOVE to hear your thoughts, feel free to leave your comments in the space below!!
Check out these other post as well!