The Top 4 Most Common Stepmom Stressors in 2018
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step-mom stressor- a particular event(series of events) or particular situation(s) involving your blended family/step child/the “ex” or your relationship with any of the above that causes you, the stepmom, unnecessary stress or turmoil.
Stepmom Stressors are unfortunately extremely common, exsisting in almost every stepfamily ever created.
Stepmom Stressors are so common and weigh down on us, stepmoms, like bricks on our heads! Yet woman who have NEVER been in our shoes insist that these “stepmom stressors” are not only “made up crazies that we must have dreamt up”, but when(we) stepmoms reach out for support or advice, those very SAME woman call us liers, OR attention seeking fakes.!!!
Can you believe someone would be SO far up on their personalized high horse, to act as if we were given a full training before becoming a Stepmom, a mile long training guide, and the highest paying trainer to go with it!?
I mean REALLY??
A lot of us are experienced moms of our bio kids, yes. Some of us aren’t!
Either way, raising my biological daughter is (most times) a breeze compared to trying to raise someone else’s child. These woman literally don’t have a single clue about what we (stepmoms) face every day or like in my case have faced as a Stepmom!
They proclaim that us, Stepmoms, over-exaggerate or that we are just being selfish and immature!
So, today I am going to cover the Top 4 Most Common Stepmom Stressors of 2018!
1. Figuring out Everyone’s Roles within the stepfamily.
If proper communication isn’t established in the beginning of your relationship with your spouse, then the confusion will continue.
Establishing roles is the first step that must be taken when establishing a solid foundation for your blended family to thrive on! I explain this further in my post here!
2. Dealing with Conflicting Discipline Structure (referring to her stepchilds rules/consequences vs the same for her own child)
What do you do when your stepchild does something your bio child better never even think about doing?
To make things worse, your spouse finds out what his child has done, and NO punishment or any action is done about the behavior?
You need to have a sit down conversation with your spouse, explain the entire situation, and try to see one anothers point of view!
Communication is key in events like this! However, explain to your own child that the behavior isn’t acceptable to you and you won’t condone it.
3. Figuring out, How Much of a “Mom” you Need to be in the Situation to the stepchild.
The reason we are Stepmoms and not the actual mom, is because this child, your step child, already has a “real” mom.
In some cases if the “real” mom isn’t in the child’s life at all for whatever reason, then this doesn’t so much apply, but for most Stepmoms it does.
We feel like all the pressure is on us! We feel like others expect us to do every motherly thing for this child, but in most cases, this isn’t true.
Yes, we need to be a good role model and parental figure but there are many times we need to step back and let the parents, parent.
This is an issue we need to figure out with our spouse when setting the foundation for our blended family.
4. Dealing with the Bio Mom.
As both a Mom and a Stepmom, this one holds dear to my heart because I have been on BOTH sides and completely understand the frustration!
This isn’t an easy topic to explain, espicailly in such a small space. I habe actually created an entire ecourse on this subject and you can learn more about that here!
Well there you have it, the Top 4 Most Common Stepmom Stressors of 2018!
As I have said a 1000 times and I’ll probably mention a 1000 more, being a Stepmom is HARD!
It takes a lot out of a woman emotionally, physically, and in many more ways! If your struggling to find peace within your role as a Stepmom and these annoying Stepmom stressors keep getting the best of you, I encourage you to enroll in my course Embracing Your Imperfect Perfectness as a Bonus Mom!
Are Stepmom Stressors an issue for you? What are the main ones you struggle with? Please let me know in the comments below!
Also, check out Stepmommin’ 102: The Ultimate Survival Guide for All Stepmoms!
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Learn how to reform yourself, LOVE yourself once again and really embrace this stepmom role!
This can be accomplished without loosing your self, I promise! I went through this and I have felt what your feeling!