10 Ways To Tell Your Blended Family Your Pregnant Again
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Almost three years ago now, I was in this exact position you are in… and boy, did I wish I would have had these tips to help guide me through it!
But it’s, Lucky for you, huh? 😀
My husband was a breeze to tell, we had discussed several times, the option of having our own baby together. Even though the news was unexpected, my husband and I were excited!
Our two children that we had to tell, were only 3 & 4 at the time so that made it much easier on us. They were mainly laughing and saying how happy they were to have a baby!
However, if your kids and/or stepkids are a little older and you need strategies that W0RK, I would defiantly keep this list extra-handy !!
Some of these strategies would work even if your not a Stepmom and you are telling your bio kids that you’re pregnant again.
10 Tips For Telling Your Blended Family(Mainly The Children)That You’re Pregnant Again:
1. Tell Your spouse FIRST.
Don’t ever tell the kids or your other family members before you tell your spouse. Chances are, even if he previously was not wanting more kids (or any kids), he would most likely feel hurt or betrayed if you were to tell anyone this huge news before you told him.
Having a baby is an intimate and special occasion and the two of you should celebrate together, first.
2. Give each other time to accept this news.
If this is an unexpected pregnancy, meaning unplanned, most of the time one of the two of you(sometimes even both) may not be automatically excited. And that’s OK.
Having a child, whether it’s your first or 5th child, is scary, EXCITING, but defiantly nerve-racking. If your spouse(or maybe you) aren’t overjoyed about the news, give him (or yourself) time to accept it, before proceeding to spill the beans to everyone else!
3. Prepare how you will tell each child beforehand. (DO NOT WING IT)!
You may think I am joking, but I’m not!
Have you ever stood before toddlers or 5-10-year-olds and announced something like this?
You will have a little bit of every emotion known to man expressed to you, a million(AND 1) relevant and/or non-relevant questions asked, and a lot of LOUD talking going on all at once! You gotta prep for this one mama!
4. If you’re a Believer, I would Recommend that you Pray Before this Announcement and pray HARD!
If your not, ask friends or family to sen some good vibes your way-just because.
Pray/hope for the right words to say, the right emotions to show, and basically, pray on how to handle whatever this child(ren) is about to dish out, once they know the news.
Tip #5 can make the entire situation easier for you to handle, at least for the moment.
This tip helps make the children who are more emotional, to not feel so distraught about the new baby.
5. Make a Small Surprise-type Gift so that the Child Feels like he/she is Still Special, and not like he/she is Being put to the side because of the New Baby.
This doesn’t mean go out and buy an expensive gift, something small will do.
I have even heard of expectant moms getting an extra copy of the ultrasound picture and giving it to the child to have for themselves.
You could spend time letting your child ask you where is the head? The feet? You get the point. Make it into a bonding experience together over the new baby!
(P.S. I have included a couple examples of gift ideas at the bottom of this post)
6. Tell the Kids and then PAUSE for a Moment Allowing the Child(ren) to- take it all in.
This may seem obvious, however, when you’re in the moment, it can be hard not to try to over-explain.
You may even try to start giving answers to questions the child hasn’t even asked yet. If you sit back and allow them to process the news, you may just be surprised at how your child will actually feel about this new baby if given the chance. Just take a few moments and breathe.
7. Encourage Questions and Answer all of them in the Best Way You Can (Age Appropriate-of course!).
This is where the prep you did earlier can really help you out. really!
Make sure you have answers to questions that you know they will probably have and make sure your answer is something you’re comfortable with discussing.
8. Be Sure to Let the Child(ren) Know that he/she will be Included in the Entire Process.
A lot of kids, especially kids that are part of a Blended family, may initially feel mad or jealous.
Try your best to be sympathetic. Remember, the child is still having to deal with his/her original family being broken apart, a new parent figure taking up his/her bio mom/dads attention. Now the child must deal with additional new siblings that he/she must fight for attention with(or feel as if they do). Be compassionate.
If you ensure their involvement right from the start and explain to them WHY their role is so important, hopefully, they won’t feel so distraught about the situation. Even if they do feel that way at first, usually they will start to be excited eventually.
9. Let the Child Know that you Believe He/She will be the BEST Big Sister/ Big Brother…EVER!
Sometimes, kids feel like they won’t be good enough as an older sibling or that they will have to be responsible for the younger child.
Make sure you explain that they will be a role model for the new baby and that is a very important and special role!
10. Assure the Child that you LOVE them and are in NO Way Replacing them.
This is an emotion A LOT of kids feel, whether in a Blended family or not. It’s especially true if the child your telling is currently an only child.
It’s a very normal emotion for this situation. No matter what you tell them, this feeling may still reappear usually at the special events for the new baby(: ultrasounds, baby showers, birth, dedications, etc.)
Just be Patient and Stay Calm!
This will get better and eventually, pass with the child’s age. Remember, it’s only because the child loves you so much, and he/she is scared of losing you and your attention.
The Solution Lies in Making them FEEL Constantly Loved and Secure.
As I am sure you, as a Stepmom, are well aware of, being in a blended family is sometimes a difficult situation.
Almost every situation that normal families deal with tends to be harder to some degree for a Blended family!
Keep your head up Stepmom(& new mom) things will get easier!
Congrats from A Blended Momma on the pregnancy(and Blended family)!
What strategy worked for you when you told your Blended Family that you were pregnant AGAIN?
What strategies did you try and instead of working they ended horribly?
Do you have any advice for Stepmoms who are in this situation right now?
Feel free to leave your answers below!
You may like these Stepmom post as well, check them out!
Here are some example options for the older siblings “small gift”:
For your convenience, I have included my favorite options for “siblings” gifts that are very effective!
You can even purchase any of the items shown, directly from this page because I am an affiliate for the company!
Enjoy the Cuteness Overload! 😗😀
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