What IS a Stepmom and What is a Stepmom NOT!

What a Good Stepmom IS, and What a

Good Stepmom is NOT!

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Good Stepmoms are


I don’t know about you but I hear plenty from the  The Survival Guide For EVERY Stepmoms  (aka non-stepmoms) about Stepmoms are this… and Stepmoms are that…

If your self-esteem and self-acceptance are low for any such reason, these false words and statements could really hurt your feelings, alter your self-image, and/or just plain output a major damper on your entire day.

ideas to cheer up a partner

Don’t you hate when people damper your days? I know I do! People have NO right to steal your joy at any point in time. Don’t allow them to steal your joy!! Be strong!

It’s situations like the above, that have led to this post!

So let’s cover, What a Good STEPMOM is, and What a Good STEPMOM is NOT! (Or I guess I should say what a Stepmom shouldn’t be)


What a Good Stepmom IS:End divorce and custody conflict

  • a brave soul! You may think that this answer is a cheap one. It’s not though, I promise! Good Stepmoms have to be BRAVE and up for a challenge at any point and time.
  • is a FAIR person! To be Good Stepmom who isn’t nicknamed The Wicked Stepmother has to be constantly fair even when others are not!
  • is an extra parental figure. You have to be willing to assume a parental figure role when you’re a Good Stepmom, its inevitable.
  • is a compassionate woman. If you’re a Good Stepmom and show your stepchild(ren) love and respect like you would your own child. This is despite the fact that the child may act like they hate you, constantly remind you how much better his/her “real mom” is, and/or deal with the child’s moms crazy-ness, you’re a dang compassionate woman, I don’t care what anyone says! Embrace it!
  • is a HUMAN BEING with REAL feelings! As a Stepmom, many people will treat you like you don’t have real feelings or like your a robot. Don’t let them! Either stand your ground or if you let it go, actually LET IT GO.



What a Good Stepmom is NOT: 

  • a free babysitter or babysitter at all! As a Stepmom, you should be considered as an extra parental figure, not a babysitter! Your NOT a babysitter, point blank, so don’t get tricked into it!
  • a toy. As a Stepmom your not a toy and should NOT be toyed with! This applies to EVERYONE-your spouse, your stepchild, the EX, the inlaws- ALL of them!
  • a Stepmom is not a slave nor a slave-driver. You are a GROWN woman and you should be making your own demands, NOT  taking them! Likewise, you should NEVER take advantage of having your stepchild or take advantage of your spouse’s weakness and make demands of them either. And yes, you shouldn’t be demanding the EX anything either. (Unless of course she is being insane and you’re demanding her to leave you alone haha)
  • Is not a mediator between your spouse and the Ex. No.No.No. You and your spouse should ALWAYS be present as a team on the same page, whether you agree or not, in front of someone, ESPECIALLY the EX (stepkids, bio kids, and in-laws as well) you should be viewed as a United front! Don’t ever get in the middle of their arguments, and never choose her side. Ever.
  • is not a replacement for the Bio Mom and a Good Stepmom never tries to be. You know you will never be this child’s “real mom” and we as Stepmoms should never try to be! Think about some other woman doing this to you with your Bio Child. NOT happening.


You can be a FABULOUS Stepmom and still be criticized, a matter of fact, you most likely will be!!

As long as your treating your spouse with love and respect within your marriage, as well as well as your stepchild! As long as your TRYING the best YOU can to be civil with the Ex(remembering of course, that we can only chance ourselves), then you are a Good Stepmom.

If you are allowing your Stepchild to be loved by both you and the real mom with no guilt trips or disapproval you are a Good Stepmom! If you treat all the kids the same, as much as you can, you’re a Good Stepmom!

So breathe hunny, I am sure you are doing just fine!


If there are certain situations your not sure about or feel you need work on, why not enroll in my course,  The  Survival Guide for EVERY Stepmoms!

This course contains EVERYTHING you need to know as a Stepmom-new or existing. Want more information on my course? Click here to learn more on the Sales Page.

Ready to enroll?  Click here to be taken to the checkout page.



I would love to get your feedback on this, so if you would like in the comments below, fill in the blanks!

Good Stepmoms ARE _________

Good Stepmoms are NOT _____________

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