The 5 Most Important Lessons I Have Learned By Being A Stepmom
March 21, 2018, written by Ashlee Martin
Before becoming a Stepmom, I was a single mom to a beautiful little girl.
Essentially, I considered myself to be a good mom, friend, daughter, granddaughter, niece and so forth.
I helped others when I could, even though weren’t many times when I was financially capable too.
The point is, as far as I was concerned, I was a pretty decent human being.
Being the only parent, I had to be less selfish than I had before having a child and learn to let my life go the back burner for my child.
I had to work hard and be careful with my money to have enough to provide for my daughter and for myself, alone.
But at the end of the day, I knew my daughter would love me, I was the only one she had, and she deserved the WORLD!
I learned many things from being a single mom but today I am going to tell you the 5 most important lessons I have learned by being a Stepmom!
The 5 Most Important Lessons I Have Learned By Being a Stepmom:
- When it was only me and my daughter, I expected her love to be unconditional, as mine was for her.
Being a Stepmom, the love for (and from) your stepchild, NEVER starts out as unconditional. It has to be earned and in most cases, it takes time to develope!
(I am also big enough to admit that this should have been my view for my bio child’s love as well, that way I would never (intentionally or accidentally) take her love for granted.)
2. Being a stepmom has made me learn patience, in a way I never thought was possible!
I thought I had plenty of patience, my mom taught me patience, Sunday school taught me patience, my teachers, and employers, but I didn’t realize how UN-patient I was. That is, until I had to deal with the “EX” situation. Patience really is a virtue, and if you don’t have any and you’re going into a Stepfamily relationship, FIND SOME.
3. Being a Stepmom brought out a jealous side of me. I never saw myself as a really jealous person. I didn’t really like attention on me, so being the quiet one, that was always to the side, never really bothered me.
However, being a Stepmom taught me otherwise. (While this may seem awful, this one of the ugly truths of being a Stepmom.)
I could never get 5 seconds alone (or focused on me) at all by my new husband, a side of me came out that I never knew existed(and didn’t quite like, either)!
I guess it was the fact of being overwhelmed and stressed out, or that his attention was taken by fake tantrums and nonsense, but either way, green(aka jealousy) is NOT my color!! I learned that quick and reevaluated my own attitude.
5. As I mentioned earlier, I worked hard as a single mom and budgeted carefully to provide.
When I became a Stepmom, I had to learn to budget not only for MORE people but also how to handle changing income and expenses.
Since we only had my stepson on my spouse’s weekends, and the holidays and school breaks were split, I had to learn to adapt my mind and budget and still stay organized so that our expenses always got paid.
I have learned a lot from being a Stepmom and I am STILL learning everyday!
I do believe the biggest and most important thing I have learned though, is a COMBINATION of feelings that make me a better and stronger woman and human being than I ever was before.
These things include being: how to appreciate, be humble, forgive, love HARD always, and have no regrets!
Being a The Survival Guide For EVERY Stepmoms is in NO way an easy role!
This role is NOT for the faint of heart or for the weak, being a Stepmom truly does take a good woman.
A selfless woman, an appreciative and grateful woman, a humble woman.
But sometimes, it takes actually becoming a S The Survival Guide For EVERY Stepmoms before you become this woman!
We want to hear from YOU!
What have YOU learned since being a Stepmom? I would LOVE to hear your thoughts, feel free to leave your comments in the space below!!
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