Coping With your Divorce When It’s the Only Option!
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Coping with your divorce can seem like a lonely and overwhelming experience.
Sadly, this challenging experience seems to be on the increase in today’s society and our children are having two parents that are living in two different houses, a common experience.
Most people today, turn to the internet to seek out divorce support and there is no doubt that this is how you found this article.
If you are looking for help or support and wanting to avoid depression and pain, or need advise is how to help your children through and move on yourself then the following will be of benefit to you.
In this article, we will focus on “Pain Avoidance” and discuss the three points you may want to be most careful to avoid.
For clarity here, there are some things that you need to know before starting.
You should know that you are not alone in the emotional roller coaster you are going through and that it is perfectly normal to have irrational thoughts and feelings at this time.
These emotions are all part of our flight or fight response to keep our lives on track.
You might also want to know about such aspects as understanding about self-esteem, how coping with divorce will affect your children and why it is so important to look after yourself.
So what is to avoid here?
There is going to be emotional pain, probably financial worry too but hopefully, the outcome of your planning will provide you with the ability to move forward to a happier and more fulfilled life.
Here are three things to carefully consider and avoid:
- Blaming yourself for the marriage breakdown. The reason for this is; just as it took two people to develop the happy relationship at the outset, it takes two people to nurture and keep the love and friendship alive. We are stereotyped into what roles we play within a marriage and out of necessity sometimes we move apart. But if one partner has been cheating or not paying enough attention then it can lead to a breakdown of trust and security. A lack of effort on either side or no communication can easily destroy the relationship and make you forget the reasons it was so good at the outset.
Letting yourself go. While trying to survive the divorce process it is easy to forget meal times and you may let your diet or appearance slip. Why is that? Probably because your appetite has gone down the pan and, seriously, you probably feel what’s the point of trying to make an effort when your world is turning upside down? Well, let me explain how wrong this is! It’s all too easy to get caught up in your problems right now but life has to go on. A good diet, regular exercise, and pride in your appearance are what you need to help yourself. What’s more, a logical and rational mind lives in a healthy, happy body! Make changes for the better and keep yourself busy and focused.
Your children are going to need some help. The reason for that is, to put it simply, sheer confusion! Their stability is being threatened – someone is leaving and how do they know the other person won’t too? They may feel the divorce is their fault, they may think they won’t be loved any more, they may imagine a move of house, a change of school, new friends, and new step-parents. You can see why their fears are so huge!
Keep on doing positive things and avoid those you know to be negative. Remember in the depth of your pain as a couple that breaking the bonds can be a positive move to a happier, more fulfilling future for you all but there is no doubt you will need support and understanding at the outset whilst coping with your divorce!
Take help where it is offered and seek it where it isn’t! Learn how to carry on with life and move forward while coping with your divorce by going to my ‘Coping With Your Divorce’ website at: here
Below are some other resources to help you with coping with your divorce!
Need Divorce Advice and Resources? Find everything you need here
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